Every post, newest first. 85 stories.
I wrote the survival guide on 3 June thinking it was a one-day problem. Two and a half weeks later I'm less convinced. Two general strikes in six months against the same bill is not weather - it's a pattern declaring itself, and it has consequences for tourism, Madeira, and anyone trying to live here.
Forty minutes south of Lisbon there's a working fishing town under a Moorish castle, with beaches Cascais would kill for and a tasca where you queue or you don't eat. Most tourists drive straight past it. Their loss.
Funchal Airport (FNC) sits on a cliff, 18 km from town, and the taxi rank knows it. Here's the honest breakdown of transfers, Aerobus shuttles, private pickups and car hire - what costs what, what's worth it, and what to skip.
Thirty days of long lunches, phone-free coffees, and naps before errands. I crashed by Day 8 and bargained with my own rules by Day 22. An honest, sarcastic report card on trying to slow-live like an islander.
Five festivals across Madeira and Porto Santo between June and September 2026 - fireworks, limpets, vintage Alfa Romeos, grape-treading and a Christopher Columbus reenactment. Nobody can do all five. Here is the honest insider's guide to which two are worth the flight.
Three hundred flight delays, fifty cancellations, dead metros, parked trains, and hospitals on skeleton crews. Portugal's general strike hit on 3 June 2026. Here's what actually happened - and how to survive it if you're caught in the middle.
Madeira was just named the world's number one trending destination for 2026. The Atlantic Festival fireworks begin this week. And the levadas now cost €4.50. Here's what's actually happening on the island in June - from someone who lives here.
Franz Kafka, patron saint of every expat who has ever queued four hours for the wrong window. A dark-comedy field guide to the days Portugal's paperwork wins - and the rules that keep you from turning into a beetle.
Eighteen new branches by June 2026, one excellent flagship in Funchal, a ticket machine that judges you, and the difference between a Loja and an Espaço that nobody bothers to explain. The honest field guide.
Four traps the relocation YouTubers forget to mention: AIMA's three-year limbo, the door that already shut on Manifestation of Interest, an American driving licence the IMT pretends doesn't exist, and a bank manager who flinches when you say the word 'FATCA'.
Five regions, no brochure language. Who each place is actually for, what it costs, how the winters feel, and the bit the relocation site quietly skips. By someone who has lived in three of them and visited the other two more times than he can count.
Forget the YouTube couples telling you everything costs €4. Here are the real monthly numbers for a real life in Portugal in 2026 - rent, food, health, the car, the dog, the bill nobody warned you about - and what the days actually feel like once the novelty wears off.
Visas, tax, citizenship, where to actually live, what it costs, and the bits the relocation consultants quietly leave off the brochure. Written by someone who is Portuguese, lives in Portugal, and has no skin in selling you anything.
Two days of Ubud sweating out my life choices in an infra-red sauna, one afternoon of trying not to die on a quad bike, three days of Kuta at a homestay so cheap I assumed it was a scam. Plus the two forms you must fill in before you board.
Ten years of renting cars in odd corners of the world have taught me that the price you see is almost never the price you pay. Here is how to keep it that way, in 2026, without sleeping in the airport.
A 2019 decree just got dusted off and given a fresh coat of varnish. Yes, the State really is going to start registering 'ownerless' land in its own name. No, it isn't coming for your quinta. And Madeira? Mostly fine, with one asterisk.
Two months ago I wrote about Portugal rewriting the rulebook. Then the government actually picked up the pen. Three case studies, one nationality law, and a lot of people doing maths on a napkin.
Growing up between two worlds and watching the old folks in Calheta run their lives on a napkin while the rest of us drowned in apps. Turns out grandma was the real financial advisor.
Airfares up 7 percent, oil over $100 a barrel, and the Instagram nomad finally checking their bank statement. The country-hopping fantasy is over. Here is what staying put for three months actually does to you - and why it is the only honest move left.
Shops shut. Streets empty. The kettle stays on for four hours. Portugal still protects rest in a way the rest of the world has quietly forgotten - and once you learn to copy it, you cannot go back.
Spain raised the income bar, Portugal got pickier, and Italy finally opened up properly. Here is what I found after a week of squinting at official government PDFs so you do not have to.
Everyone is suddenly discovering that less stuff equals more freedom. Welcome to the party. Some of us have been living here for years, and the coffee is still hot.
Nobody remembers the person with the perfect itinerary. They remember the one who shared their last cigarette and said 'sit down, I just made too much pasta.'
South Africa's National Treasury wants to wrap Bitcoin in the same exchange controls that propped up apartheid-era capital flight restrictions. If this passes unopposed, Satoshi Nakamoto's entire thesis dies in the country that needed it most.
The frantic 12-cities-in-14-days itinerary is dying. In its place: a quieter revolution of people who stay longer, work a little, and actually remember where they have been.
Most cities are losing the war on heat, loneliness, and concrete. Two countries - one enormous, one barely bigger than a car park - have quietly figured it out from opposite directions.
On 12 August 2026, Iceland steals the sun for two minutes and thirty-seven seconds - and throws a four-day party on a lava field to mark the occasion.
At the 2026 Fuorisalone in Milan, Singapore built a living laboratory out of bamboo, algorithms, and a slightly terrifying amount of ambition. I went looking for buzzwords and found something genuinely useful.
Somewhere between Lisbon and London, a stranger reached into a seat pocket and pulled out a confession. No name. No return address. Just a pen, a sick bag, and the kind of honesty most of us only manage at funerals.
Put your phone away, get on a bus, and swap Lisbon's laptop sermon crowd for Évora's walls, wine, gossip, and actual lore.
Seventeen chapters on what nobody tells you about the summit. Out today on Gumroad and Kindle. PDF straight from us if you'd rather skip the middlemen.
A stats-heavy, lightly sarcastic tour of what's actually happened to Portugal and Madeira since 2019 - rent, tourists, cork, cod, levadas, and the bananas the EU pretends don't exist.
A field guide to the seven tribes invading Lisbon - the Neon Hikers, the Crypto Bros, the Influencers, and the rest. Brutally honest, lovingly written, and mostly true.
My cousin Eleutério lives in Funchal, knows the island like the back of his hand, and is a lovely storyteller in both English and Portuguese. Here is his family-friendly guide to making the most of a grey day.
Behind ten-foot walls on a dodgy street, past what looked like a cartel ambush waiting to happen, we discovered Narnia. With a pool. And Pomolas. Welcome to Tulum.
A light-hearted look at the real retirement math - from a fishing village in Mozambique to Blue Zones, property trusts, and why you should never become Gary.
Two South Africans, a rental car named El Churro, an offline map, peak hour traffic, rain, and a construction site where a roundabout should be. The Cancun airport-to-hotel drive that nearly ended us.
Twenty years of wrestling with water heaters, confused donkeys, and Portuguese building logic - here is everything nobody tells you about going off grid.
TripAdvisor's number one trending destination for 2026. Record visitors. Record revenue. And somewhere in a corner bar in Funchal, two old friends are wondering where it all went sideways.
Buying a car in Portugal as a non-resident or expat: NIF, IPO, road tax, insurance, Standvirtual traps and foreign-plate scams - everything verified, nothing sugarcoated.
After Part 1, readers confessed. Frequent flyers revealed they now clap at every landing. One woman said she hadn't unclenched her jaw since 2019. So we went global - Innsbruck, St. Maarten, Skiathos, Lukla, and back to Funchal.
Forget the TripAdvisor top ten. The best meals in Porto hide behind unmarked doors, handwritten menus, and the suspicious stares of old men who've been eating there since before you were born. Here's how to find them - and survive.
From stricter immigration laws and a new nationality act to road safety overhauls and housing reforms - Portugal is rewriting the rulebook. Here's what's actually changing, who it affects, and what you should do about it.
Three airports enter, none leave the loser. A light-hearted comparison of Portugal's big three airports - from passport queues to pastéis de nata availability - plus what's waiting within an hour of each.
Two countries separated by the Mediterranean, connected by centuries of spice routes, shared ingredients, and an obsessive love for sweet pastry. Here's why Portuguese and Egyptian food are more alike than you'd ever expect.
From accidentally telling a pharmacist you're constipated to pushing a door that says PUXE - a survival guide to Portuguese words that don't mean what you think they mean.
Thongs, rubbers, pants, and fanny packs - a survival guide to the minefield of English dialects, written by someone who's offended people on four continents.
Two legendary recipes that have been in the family for generations - fudgy chocolate brownies with a crackly top and authentic Italian vanilla gelato. Together, they're an absolute crime against diets everywhere.
Fuel prices in Portugal change every Monday like a weekly soap opera. Here's a guide to surviving the madness - from Intermarché receipts to the ISP tax dance - written by a man who once drove 40 minutes to save €3.20.
Currently visiting my son Nick and 7-month-old grandson in Australia. Between magpie swoopings and $16 pints, here's everything that's gloriously, absurdly, uniquely Australian.
Is food cheaper in Spain or Portugal? A lived-in 2026 price comparison across the border - groceries, fuel, jamón, pharmacy and fish - from Ayamonte/Tavira in the south to Valença/Tui in the north.
I left the Algarve at 18°C with flip-flops on the passenger seat. Six hours later I was lost on a mountain in fog, sharing a road with goats, and carrying enough cheese to feed a small village.
Every February, Portugal loses its collective mind in a riot of colour, satire, and airborne confetti. I went to Loulé expecting a quaint parade. I left covered in silly string with someone else's hat.
Tender beef cubes in a fiery, wine-soaked sauce with enough chilli to remind you you're alive. This dish crossed an ocean, picked up a few tricks, and became the thing I cook when I want to feel like home.
I installed 18 panels, two lithium batteries, and enough paperwork to wallpaper a bathroom. Here's everything I learned about going solar in a 250m² Portuguese house - the costs, the process, and the bureaucracy.
Netjie, Caro, Nik, Ant, Lyn, and Jurgs hire a van for a pre-wedding wine run through Rutherglen Valley. Between vintage motorcycles, weaponised Muscat, and the life-changing Parker Pies, it's the most South African thing to ever happen in rural Victoria.
The Atlantic does not forgive hesitation. The story of Domingos, who crossed an ocean in 1966 with a single suitcase and a pocketful of prayers - and the boy who was named on a stormy night in December 1968.
Sixteen hours in a metal tube, or five nights in Bali for basically free? We chose the cocktails, the yoga, and the complete absence of jet lag. Here's how.
Why Australian beer will never win an international award, why every city insists on brewing its own version of disappointment, and why Aussies fly to Bali just to afford a round.
When a €39 Ryanair flight from Madeira turns into a spontaneous Dublin mission to tick off Tony's Jameson bucket list - and the Guinness Storehouse steals the show.
We leave the tourist trail entirely, find the edge of the world at Paul do Mar, and ask the big question: what is it about this volcanic speck in the Atlantic that gets under your skin and refuses to leave?
Funchal doesn't do subtle. From the gloriously chaotic Mercado dos Lavradores to the world's most absurd toboggan ride, the Old Town's painted doors, and a New Year's Eve fireworks display that makes every other city look like it's playing with sparklers.
From the volcanic peaks of Pico do Arieiro and Pico Ruivo to the ancient levada channels and the magical 25 Fontes, this is the Madeira that makes you forget you're on a small island in the Atlantic.
Landing at Funchal Airport (FNC) is Madeira's most famous welcome. The flight from Lisbon is 90 minutes. The final approach adds about 15 years to your life expectancy - in stress, not longevity.
Beyond the tourist trail lies the Madeira that only locals know. Where family tables stretch across generations, poncha flows like conversation, and three villages on the south-west coast hold the soul of the island.
I went to Nazaré for the waves and the seafood. I left with a sunburn, a profound respect for elderly Portuguese women, and a story involving a seagull that I'm legally required to share.
A traditional Portuguese kale soup so good it made a grown fisherman cry. Also, a cautionary tale about what happens when you tell a Portuguese grandmother her caldo verde 'needs more salt.'
Thinking of buying that perfect hillside plot? Before you fall in love with a view, here's everything I've learned about water, fire, neighbours, and the Portuguese câmara.
After years of scientific research, pub arguments, and at least three broken friendships, we finally answer the question: who's the greatest of all time?
From world-class wine farms to the Big Five, discover why South Africa offers the ultimate affordable adventure – where 1 Euro gets you 20 Rand and a whole lot of magic.
From the Bosphorus to the Guadalquivir – landing in Seville, hiring a camper van, and discovering the soul of Spain one tapas bar at a time.
Tucked away on a quiet Sintra street, this tiny bakery serves what might be the most perfect croissant in all of Portugal.
Every morning at 7:30, I join the regulars at Café Nicola for what might be the most important meeting of the day.
My Portuguese vocabulary consisted of 'obrigado' and 'cerveja'. The menu had other plans.
After decades of pleading, Avó finally shared her legendary custard tart recipe. The secret? A dash of lemon zest and an extra egg yolk.
The night started with 'just one drink' and ended with me serenading a statue. Here's what I remember.
There's something magical about arriving at Pena Palace before the crowds, when the morning mist still clings to the hilltops.
All I needed was a simple form. What I got was an existential journey through waiting rooms, mysterious stamps, and the woman at counter 3.
Lisbon gets the fame. Porto gets my heart. Here's why the north captures something special.
Where Portuguese explorers set sail for the unknown, and where the legendary Pastéis de Belém has been making pilgrims of us all since 1837.
They said it was just a sandwich. They lied. This is the story of my battle with Porto's most magnificent, terrifying, cheese-drenched creation.
I went for a wine tasting. I stayed for the views, the food, and possibly too many glasses of vintage port.
What should have been a simple trip through Alfama turned into an absurd adventure involving a lost shoe and an angry accordion player.
Every year, I return to the golden coast like a migrating bird. Vilamoura's marina, Quarteira's beaches – this is where my soul comes to rest.
4 AM starts, shouting fishermen, and the freshest catch in the Algarve. This is where the magic happens.